Some people believe that you can; and some do not! But is it really possible to do so?

I am sure that you have read before articles talked about the relation between someone’s look and his attitude or behavior. And you may read about funny scientific research proving that there is a relation between a man’s nose and lying!!

Well… It might be hard to give a general trait for someone from the first look. Such as judging if he is good or bad person. But sometimes you can connect between a certain look and a specific behavior. For example, you could be able to decide wither this person is serous or comedian from the way he dress. Some sort of a sense may help in that, although this may not be 100% accurate. If this man is forced to wear a certain dress, then your judging will not be that much of a true.

Have you ever heard of the word “Faraseh” in Arabic? It is a quality in people who are able to judge from the way a person looks. This quality was recognized by ancient Arab tribes. And not every one is capable of having it…

When I come to this subject I always remember the incident of “Solh-Al Hudaybia”, when “Quraysh” wanted to negotiate Prophet Mohammed (May peace be upon him) to withdraw and leave Mecca. They sent four men each one at a time. The Prophet was able to recognize there personality each time before they approach him and deal with each one of them upon his quality.. you can go back to “Serah” books and read more about this story.

Anyway, what I want to say is that being not able judge people at all from the way they look is not the truth case. The more accurate case is YES you CAN judge people from the way they look, but NOT EVERYONE is capable of doing so. So if you wrong 2 or 3 times of judging people from there look, then you are not one of them… and try not to do it again.

You know why? Because judging people depends on the amount and kind of experiences you have, and the way you analyze and store these experiences. Judging people is a gift and not something available to everyone.

As for me, I am not one of those talented people.

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11 Responses to “Can you judge people from the way they look?”

  1. super.devoika Says:

    judging is a strong word don’t u think?
    maybe we cant say “better understand” than “judge” thier charcheter or qualities….
    and yeah… some people have this talent while others don’t… in any case… we should never treat people with prejudices… cuz sometimes… looks can be really decieving…

  2. Khalidah Says:

    well my friend .. it would have been much better if you had said “judging by people’s behavior and not looks” ..
    Looks can be deceiving .. and more often than not; they are!
    Let me tell you a little story .. a very casual old couple .. wearing humble clothes went to Harvard and asked to meet with the president of the university .. the assistant tried to get rid of them by keeping them waiting .. but 4 hours later; they were still there; so she begged the president to see them for a few minutes and he agreed … they explained to him that their only son had attended Harvard for a year but he tragically died, so they wanted to erect a memorial for him on campus .. the president refused .. but they explained that they did not want to put a statue .. they wanted to give the university a building .. but when the president looked at them and the way they were dressed, rolled his eyes and rediculed them saying … do you know how much a building will cost? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard … so the Mrs. asked her husband: is that all what it costs to start a university? why don’t we start one of our own … this puzzled the president but he did not think much of it .. in the mean time; Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford stepped out of the president office and went back to Palo Alto to start their late son’s memorial ..
    read the story here: (http://www.shoeschool.com/short_stories/stanford-story.html)

    My point is that you can never judge by people’s looks .. you have to watch their behavior and attitude .. some people don’t wear fancy because they don’t have enough money .. some wear darker colors because they are fat .. and so on …

    so don’t fall in the trap .. “Faraseh” means that you are able to detect the finer details about people’s behaviors that form their characters .. but looks never form a person’s character … and that is my humble opinion :)
    Please pardon the long comment

  3. Omar Says:

    Good post, although after reading Khalida’s comment, I was more drawn into her reasoning.

    I have certainly met people before, and after dealing with them for a short while I started to notice simillarities between them and people that I had known from before, who looked the same. So I tend to associate the looks of someone with their actions after I actually meet them…

    That being said, sometime I can’t help but judge people by their looks everynow and then.

  4. Gus Says:

    There are many ways to actually seeing inside a persons personality from appearances..

    For example for my point of view people that put gel everyday and have long hair and always wear steel toe shoe’s, well i can judge there people in my point of view.

    But i think everyone has a point of view and judges people!

  5. manal yusuf Says:

    how i always thought about this thing is that yes a person can creat an idea about another basing only on cloths n how s/he dresses, but its important to keep it as a primitive idea….because after you know the person a little bit more personlay yr idea might be assured or change into a judgement,like in kahlida’s stroy
    it says a humble couple walked in wearing regulalar cloths so the secratery and the president thought they were poor basing on their cloths…but after we knew that they were so rich…again based on their cloths we had judged they are humble…although nothing in the story based on the couples personality shows us that they are humble, maybe them building a whole university for the memory of their son is not a humble thing after all…So we cant give out a fair judgment n yes we do judge ppl on the way they dress…n the way u dress yourself everymorning is a part of yr personality and some times reflects yr mood

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Eventhough so tempting to believe, the story Khalidah brought up about the establishment of the Stanford University is no more than an urban myth. Please refer to the Stanford link below and read towards the end of the page:
    http://www.stanford.edu/home/stanford/history/begin.html

  7. Bashar Says:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  8. Bashar Says:

    Khalidah: What you said was thoughtful and true…well most of it…becuase i have to admit that the story you told was so nice..as a forward not as a fact :)) (dont hate me am kidding here)

    Heres is the facts at the university web site:

    http://www.stanford.edu/home/stanford/history/begin.html

  9. Bashar Says:

    Salam Wael,

    Excellent post as usual, but as a small correction or comments if i may regarding the “Faraseh” and the �Soleh il hodybya� story,

    The �farseh�: is looking in the face and eyes as well as the tune of voice and lastly the way he dress or looks..ill send you a book name about it, Abu-Baker (MGPH)was one of the most famous Arabs in �faraseh�.

    Regarding the Hudaybya: the Prophet judged them based on his past experience and knowledge about the four men, he knew who they are and he knew their attitudes and believes…for instance “Sohiel ibn amro” is well known around the Arab world that time of his negotiation abilities

    So it was more of a communication skill demonstrated by the prophet more than “faraseh”

  10. Khalidah Says:

    Hi guys .. I realize that the story I narrated is not completely and utterly true .. however; it serves the purpose .. and it is not some story I invented, but it was transferred ..

    Anyway; thank you for the correction!

  11. Wael Attili Says:

    Thank you Bashar for your valuable input and am so eager to read that book… am really interested to know more about this subject.

    and I agree with you super.devoika, knowing people more or understand is better than Judge :)
    Khalida, even if your story is true.. What I meant is that not every one can read people from there look.. some people can.. and definitely the Harvard president is not one of them :)

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